God Always Wins

So that Satan is a tricky little devil, isn't he.

Let me explain.

My girlfriend and I were just having a conversation the other day about how I felt like something was missing from my life. My life is great. I am absolutely crazy in love with my sweet husband. I have two beautiful children. I spend my days with two precious girls (my daughter and my niece) where we get to go for a daily walk and giggle and have snacks on the floor. Life is good. Except for that one thing, that one thing that was missing. After a little discussion we agreed upon the fact that it was God. God was missing. Not missing completely. I have a personal relationship with God, I go to church, I pray. But I decided I needed more.

So I developed a game plan that included the following:
Wednesday: Small group weekly Bible study
Thursday: Morning women's group at church
Thursday: Host a middle school small group in my home.
Friday: Evening service church
Sunday: Marriage class at church
Sunday: Book club online w/500 Christian women

Overkill? Maybe. It's all or nothing with me. Go big or go home, right? Well, it looks like a good plan on paper. It looks like I will be busy. It looks like I will meet new people and learn a lot. It looks like I will have more God which is exactly what I was needing. I was excited.

And then it happened. Sneaky little Satan hit me. Like a ton of bricks. He knows where I falter, he knows where my weaknesses lie. He knows where and when to hit me with the temptations that I think I have conquered. And, he did. It was like he saw me trying to be better, trying to better my life. He saw me and he pounced. Dang Lucifer. I failed the test. Failed miserably. And today I find myself hurting and owing explanations and not being able to give them. I find myself ashamed and needing even more God. Maybe his plan backfired. Maybe this is just the push I needed. And if that is the case then, God wins again.

God always wins.
God always wins.
God always wins.