Thursday, June 25, 2009

10 Things Thursday

10 Things I Thought Today At The Dr Visit For My Daughter

1. What a friendly lady at the front desk. She interrupted everyone to show her how cute and happy my sweet baby was.

2. Look now ladies, I'm sure she won't be this happy after her shots.

3. 18 pounds! 26 inches! Wow, she is big. I hope hope hope she gets her daddy's metabolism.

4. The reading material they give you on the vaccines is a little bit frightening.

5. Please God help her not be the 1 in 16,000 to have a bad reaction to this shot.

6. 5 shots, one combo and one oral so only three pokes. Phew.

7. What a good girl. The first shot was done and her face was red but no tears. Second shot was done and no tears. I'll have to tell her brother what a trooper she was.

8. Last shot and the lady jerked the needle around in her thigh like she was stirring soup. Damn it! Poor baby cried and I cried. And my mama bear came out full force.

9. Hey nurse lady, you better back up before I punch you in the throat.

10. I will NOT go back there. You don't get a second chance to hurt my babies. No way, no how.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Post Secret

I was up the other morning from 4am to 6am. I emailed my dad and then went blog reading. For hours. I found some funny ones, some in a different language, some that had amazing pictures and then I found this one. Post Secret. It is a blog of shared confessions in art form. A gallery of postcard sized images posted anonymously to confess a secret. There are books and museum exhibits. The man who started it gives speeches and does videos. It is a worldwide community of people.

I got addicted quickly. There were all these secrets from people who were hurting immensely. I mean some were happy, maybe one percent. The others were sad and hard to read. But I read them all. And I was so glad that I don't have to send in a postcard. I know I have my secrets...but at least one person knows everything about me. Not all the same person...but people nonetheless. So I don't really have a secret. The only real secret I had I told one of my girlfriends the other day and she said, well now its not a secret and it was kind of a given anyway.

My dad always said secrets aren't good. If it isn't something that you can share you probably shouldn't be doing it. It's true. Especially with me. I am a talker. I share everything...sometimes too much. So if there is something I can't tell's because I am not proud of it. And that is a hard feeling to have.

I have had my share of secrets and I have had secrets kept from me. Some that changed my life forever. I try not to have secrets because they are damaging. They hurt you and those around you.

Ok, here's the thing. I have been writing this post for about a week. I would write and read it and write and read it and it just seemed unfinished. It just seemed half assed. Here is why.

Secrets have changed my life. Forever. Secrets kept by others, secrets kept by me. Secrets that have now been shared but were so damaging there is no return.

I was married when I was 23. He was my high school sweetheart. We were together for twelve years. Married for four. During that time there were many secrets that were kept. Some from me, some from my family. Secrets that led to my divorce and led to the joint custody of my son. My life and the life of my sweet, precious boy changed forever. We had problems for years before anyone knew. We went to counseling, we went to weekends for couples, we tried many different things. Most of this no one knew. When we actually split it was a shock to family members, to friends and even to us. It was a difficult time for my family and for my child. And although life is wonderful now. And by wonderful I mean absolutely amazingly wonderful. The secrets that were kept still haunt me and have changed me and my outlook on life.

I was in the Boise airport when I received a call that a good friend of ours was arrested. He was a good guy. He was clean cut and parents loved him. He was the boy that made us laugh and that you went to with any problem. So it was shocking to know he was in any kind of trouble. But the shock got worse when I heard that the arrest was for bank robbery. Bank robbery. Multiple bank robberies. I worked at a bank. He came to visit me at work numerous times. He was leading a double life. He had secrets that are the makings of a made for tv movie. The next few days were full of phone calls, watching news, internet searches and questions. It has been eight years and the questions remain. I do not know if they will ever be answered and at this point I am ok with it. But the secret started and it destroyed lives. It destroyed trust and relationships. It still is the topic of conversation. It still is the center of stomach aches and tears. The secrets have damaged more than just our friend and his family. More than the people in the bank.

Secrets are like webs that just suck in all those around them. And unless the secret includes a diamond or a big red bow it just isn't a good idea. Once dad was right.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Almost Famous

Sooooo, guess what? I made it on to Huckleberries. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! DF Oliveria writes the Huckleberries for the Spokesman Review. He does a Huckleberries Online where he highlights blogs and keeps us informed. Huckleberries was my favorite part of the paper when I received the paper. And no I'm not just saying that.

I was on the front page for my 10 things I won't eat. Hee Hee. I am so excited. I feel like I won something but I didn't. I feel like I am a published writer, but I'm not. Well is super cool and I am super happy.

If you want to see it for yourself. Not like you don't believe me but you should check it out anyway. We do love the Oliveria. You will have to scroll down a little bit.

Take a looksy. Audible Woo Hoo is optional.
But just know you won't be the first. hee hee.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

10 Things Thursday

10 things I will NOT eat

1. guacamole
2. peas
3. shrimp
4. lamb
5. cantaloupe
6. clams
7. asparagus
8. green beans
9. coffee
10. deviled eggs

Monday, June 15, 2009

Not Me Monday

You thought I forgot...didn't you???

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Things I didn't do but really did do.

I did not lay in the backyard and read and write while my son played in the pool all weekend instead of doing much needed housework.

I did not put on my bikini for such an occasion and pretty much want to DIE. I then did not run out first thing today and buy a tankini to cover this baby belly I still have. Ugh.

I did not eat hot wings and only hot wings for lunch until my mouth was on fire. Could this be partly to blame for the previous statement and the lasting baby belly?

I did not say a prayer of thanks that my five month old daughter slept in her own bed the whole night for the first time in weeks. I know this is partly to blame for the baby belly...studies show that lack of sleep makes you chubby. I need more sleep.

I did not give the "this is a yard sale, not your own personal antique shop" speech in my head to a stranger while I looked through the stuff she so badly wanted to get rid of that the chair was priced at $55 and the coffee table was $85. Come on!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Beyond Blessed

I am so blessed. I have a wonderful husband. I have two of the sweetest, cutest, happiest children. We are all healthy. My family is amazing. My friends are the best a girl could ask for. We have a nice home and plenty of food. We have reliable vehicles and enough money to pay our bills. We take family vacations. I am really, very blessed.

Friday when I took my kids to my sister's church to do an activity with the children's ministry I met a little boy. I don't even know his name. I don't know if he is mean as a snake or sweet as an angel. I don't know his family, if they go to the church or are just a part of the community. What I do know is that in the five minutes I spent with this little boy I learned that he is brave and strong and smart. I know that I tried not to cry while he talked. I know that he is why I write this about my numerous blessings.

He sat down across the table from me and my daughter. He pulled out a little black bag and put it on the table in front of him. He looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. He unzipped it and pulled out a little oval plastic container and was almost talking to himself. He kept saying 1,2,3. 1,2,3. Then the end of his finger was bleeding very lightly and he took the end of his finger and placed it on a test strip that was placed in this mechanical tester. Then he looked at me and said "It's going to be an error. Yep, there it is...error." Sure enough the screen on the tester said error. I asked how he knew it would be an error before he saw it. He explained that the test strip has a yellow stripe on it and if you can still see yellow then there was not enough blood and it will be an error. He pulled out another test strip and told me "I have diabetes. I have to test my blood sugar and I have to have insulin shots. I have 5 shots a day." He showed me that the plastic oval container was the needle and he just puts it on the end of his finger and pushes a button. "I always say 1,2,3 poke before I do it. 1,2,3 poke." He looks around and watches the kids for a minute oblivious that I am watching him with tears in my eyes.. "1,2,3 poke. Ooooh, that's a good one." I ask if he always uses the same finger. "No, I can use any finger. I can't use my toes though." He then puts his feet up on the table and he clearly has not been wearing shoes all morning as his feet are brown with dirt. So I comment on the dirty feet and how that probably wouldn't be good and he tells me he could wash them in the sink. I agree and tell him that then they would be clean. "Yeah, but I still couldn't use my toes...I just use different fingers." Somehow I think he just wanted to put his feet on the table. Boys will be boys. So then the number is registered at 73. "Oh, yeah it's low. I need a snack. But not a big snack, just a little snack." He holds up his hands to show me what a little snack is. When asked what a good number is he tells me 80-100 is good and anything lower he needs to eat some carbs, four carbs. I ask him how old he is, thinking of my own six year old son and how he HATES needles. He tells me he is five. I listen and fight back my tears. I ask him how he knew his blood sugar was low, did he get dizzy, did his head hurt. "My legs get weak. Then I know I have to test it to see how big of a snack I need." This is what got me. His legs get weak? Weak legs on a five year old. Wow. Look away, no tears. He then showed me how there are different numbers on the needle. "0 won't do anything, 1 won't do anything either, 2 just pokes, 3 might poke, but 4, 4 is a good one. I leave it on 4." This was entirely too much for a child. Why was he left to know and remember all of this and take care of it all by himself. How long had this been going on. It was awful and I was saddened by all of it. He was gone before I could ask him his name or even thank him for teaching me all that he did.

So that day I got a crash course in diabetes and I thanked God for giving me healthy children. I thanked God that so far we have had no broken bones or hospital stays. I thanked God that the only way I can tell my son needs a snack is that he gets grouchy and thanked Him that there are no needles involved in our daily life. I prayed for that little boy and thanked God for sending me a reminder in such a friendly and adorable little face.

I think sometimes we forget. I think sometimes it is so much easier to complain about what we don't have or fuss about things and people than to really just be happy for what we have. What He has blessed us with. All good things come from God. Without Him we would have nothing. We would be nothing. He is our blessing. The home and vacations are all just extras.

Count your blessings, one by one, see what God has done.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

10 Things Thursday

10 Reasons I LOOOOVE Summer

1. Being tan. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I love not wearing makeup and having teva lines on my feet. I love my little boy's tan back and his pale bum. I just love it.

2. 4th of July. One of my favorite two holidays. I love our community parade. I love bbq's but most of all I love fireworks. Hearing the oohs and ahhs and I can't stop smiling.

3. Camping. I think we are switching from boaters to campers this summer. Hard to be on the rough water with a 5 month old. I'm good with this decision. Although I will have to improve on my camping skills.

4. Watching my son jump in and out of the water a dozen times. He is a fish. He is taking swim lessons and is doing incredible. He does it over and over and wants me to watch him every time. I gladly oblige.

5. Backyard bbq with a bunch of friends and family. My husband makes the best bbq chicken ever and I make some mean side dishes. Add a slip n slide and some watermelon and I'm in my element.

6. Summer dresses. Longer now since I am in my 30's. But still summery and strapless and light and wonderful.

7. Flip flops. I wear them as soon as the snow melts. I have them in every color. They are one of my all time favorite things.

8. Night swimming. You know those days when it is soooo hot you can barely function. That is the perfect day for a night swim. My girls and I use to go at a local beach and sing and swim and celebrate being young and responsibilityless.

9. Fresh fruit. Strawberries, raspberries, watermelon, pineapple, peaches...I love it all. You can eat it standing in the kitchen. You can make jam or fresh pies. You can take it on picnics, you can grill it or make a fruit salad. It is a blessing from above.

10. Outdoor movies. One of my favorite little towns near us shows outdoor movies in their community park all summer. We pack snacks and blankets and enjoy the movie and the moon. It is wonderful.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


Things I want to do

Learn to knit
Become a runner
Read the books on my must read books list
Be a better mother
Get back into my skinny jeans
Take golf lessons
Be a better wife
Take a photography class
Buy a sea kayak
Make the perfect chocolate chip cookie
Have two or three more kids
Make jam all by myself
Learn to play my guitar
Can my own tomatoes and make tomato sauce
Learn to love vegetables
Use my voice
Learn to dive
Take my husband to Maui for two weeks
Show my kids fireflies

What is on your list?

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Not Me Monday

MckMama usually doess this on Mondays and I play along with her, but today she is tapped dry. You can check up on her at

Things I didn't do but did.

I did not rub it in when my husband and I won the Newlywed Game at a party this weekend. That would be wrong. I can't help it if we are best friends.

I did not make the wrong judgement on a friend of a friend and want to kick myself when after spending time with her I found her to be sweet, funny and quite adorable.

I am perfectly capable of taking out the garbage so I did not wait and wait and wait for my husband to do it.

I did not get my sweet niece two birthday cards for her very first birthday, one for her actual birthday and one for her bday party and forget to give either one to her. When my sister suggested I save them for my daughter I did not even consider it.

I did not watch my daughter fall asleep sitting up in her bumbo chair and leave her there because it was so super cute. And I most certainly did not take pictures of the cuteness.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Consumer Alert

I don't even know where to start. I'm a goob. A total goob. I guess we can start there.

I love the color pink. I found the cutest Polaroid pink camera a few years back on sale and got myself one. It was my first digital. It worked great and was small enough to go everywhere. My husband wasn't thrilled about using it when I wasn't around being bright pink and all but he survived. I loved it, my own little pink digital camera.

I also love myself a good dollar store. I can't help it, I just do. I just got handcrafted birthday cards, glass candle holders and candles for the deck, gift bags & wrapping paper and graduation decorations for my son's K5 bbq. They have things you can buy at Target for less and I also love myself a good deal. So, you can see where I would stock up on some things like paper plates, gift bags, tea lights and batteries.

This is where the problem begins. We took the training wheels of my son's bike and I got my camera ready, loaded it with new batteries and headed outside. My camera wouldn't work. It wouldn't even turn on. Are you kidding me? I needed a camera badly. Aaaaggghhh! I was so frustrated. How could it just break like that? It was just working yesterday. I was definitely breaking up with it. I borrowed a camera until I could get a new one and the other day we went to my son's kindergarten graduation. I had put new batteries in the camera on the way over. I was ready. Cue deja vu. The camera wouldn't work. It wouldn't even turn on. Are you kidding me? Once again I needed a camera badly. My husband was telling me how I have bad luck with cameras and for some reason he traded batteries out of my mom's camera. Her camera wouldn't work but ours did. Uh oh. When asked where I bought the dud batteries I didn't even have to think. I didn't have to think but I didn't want to throw my secret love under the bus. I mumbled the dollar store and my husband sighed. Stop buying batteries there, deal? Deal. In my defense I feel like I should mention that the batteries were a brand name battery. It wasn't some crazy cheap brand that you have never heard of.

Here is the proof of me being a total goob. You know my sweet, pink digital camera? It wasn't broken. It was the dud batteries. Oopsy. The worst part is that just the day before I had went to throw the camera away since it clearly was broken and let me down. I just couldn't do it. I put it on the counter and left it there. However, I can't find it there now so I can only assume that moments later I did actually throw it away and have since blocked it out of my mind. I dumped my sweet camera literally and figuratively. Aaaaggghhh! I'm a goob. A total goob.

So, please DO NOT buy batteries at your favorite local dollar store. Gift bags, pens, coloring books, craft supplies are fair game but whatever you do spend the extra money and go to Target.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

10 Things Thursday

10 Things We Planted in the Garden
And by we I mean Adam

1. Corn
2. Carrots
3. Watermelon
4. Tomatoes
5. Bell Peppers
6. Onions
7. Snap Peas
8. Radishes
9. Lettuce
10. Strawberries

5 Herbs We Planted
And by we I mean me

1. Basil
2. Cilantro
3. Dill
4. Mint
5. Oregano

I know it doesn't look like much now...but you just wait. Just wait my pretty.

WoF 2009

I have been trying for days to wrap my brain around the Women of Faith conference I attended this past weekend. There was so much I witnessed, so much I heard, so much I felt. I can't seem to organize my thoughts and my feelings. Maybe that is God's doing. Maybe He is trying to teach me something. Maybe in organizing I lose something and He wants me to take it all in. So in no particular order here are my thoughts...

Powerful. It is so powerful to sit with 7,000 God fearing, God loving, God praising women. It is so incredibly powerful to be surrounded by that many ladies that are singing, praying, laughing, crying and some even dancing. Powerful. The message is powerful. The worship is powerful. The ladies, oh yes the ladies, they are powerful. You can feel the Holy Spirit there. And you can feel Him smiling.

Speaking of the powerful ladies. I want to sit on the porch. I want to be one of them. I love them all. I love Patsy Clairmont. I want to take her home in my pocket and she would almost fit. I love when she tells a story with her whole body. I love Luci Swindol. I love that before she speaks, she sings in that low voice of hers. I especially love that she shares that same stage with the voices of Sandi Patty, Sheila Walsh and Mandisa and she doesn't care...she sings anyway. I love Marilyn Meberg. I love when she laughs at her own jokes. I love Sheila Walsh. I love her stories and the incredible way she tells them. I love Mary Graham. I love how sincere she is and quick with the audience. I love listening to Sandi Patty sing her heart out, some of those notes probably shook Heaven. Oh, and she sang my baby to sleep so I love that too. I have a new found love for Mandisa. I love her music, her voice and her heart. Wow! Wow! Wow!

We were standing outside in line to get in for the Friday night service. Me and my daughter, my mom, my sister, and my sister's best friend Kathy, had walked back to the conference after dinner. With that many ladies there was quite an impressive line. There was an older lady who was standing in line a dozen people ahead of us. She was little. She was dressed to the nines. She had dyed red hair and the makeup to match. She came walking from where her friends stood and the whole time was singing. Oh, when the saints go marching in...oh, when the saints go marching in. Oh, how I want to be in that number...when the saints go marching in. I smiled. We all smiled. She kept singing and walked back to where her friends stood. I mentioned that we should have joined her. My mom said that is exactly what she wanted. The lady in front of us said it would make her day. Kathy said I should because she knew I could sing loud enough. I looked up the line for her and she was still singing. I wanted to join her. And for the most foolish reason on God's lovely earth I did not. I did not sing with her. I did not make her day. I did not do what I really, really wanted to do. And it is my only regret from the whole weekend.

Spending two days with these ladies makes me want to be a better person. A better Christian, a better wife and mother, a better friend and daughter, a better sister and aunt. I want to make a difference...a profound difference. I want to be part of something bigger than myself. I want to make those around me proud of who I am. I want to use what God has given me to the fullest extent.

For years now I have been looking for my passion. I was always jealous of people that had one and I wanted one so badly. So, I went looking for one and I have tried many things. I have tried yoga, archery, running, cooking...I have tried many things. But, for some reason I never tried the one thing I have always loved to do. Singing. I love to sing. I have always loved to sing. I have a passion for singing. When I got my tonsils removed last year and could barely talk no less sing I was distraught. That is my passion. It was staring me in the face all these years and I totally ignored it. It makes me smile, I do it every day, I do it alone or with other people. I adore singing. It is my passion and I will pursue it.

I pray for the woman on the porch now. I pray that they have safe journeys and that their families are protected while they are away. I pray that they touch the hearts of ladies everywhere.

I can't wait to go next year and I may just be in the running for two free tickets. Woo Hoo.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

June 2nd

Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday to you...

Today marks the birthday of three people in my world.

My sweet niece turns one today. She is adorable. She is beautiful and her giggle makes you giggle no matter what. She has these big eyes that can sometimes stare you down and sometimes melt you. Her smile is sweet and her hugs are sweeter. Happy Birthday Jules!

My mother in law also shares this birthday. Last year we spent her birthday in the hospital where she sat with me all day when my husband, her youngest son, was having surgery. We had birthday breakfast in the hospital cafeteria. How selfless is that? She loves my kids so much and rarely does she show up without a gift for one or both of them and sometimes even us. Happy Birthday Karmen!

And last but certainly not least my very best friend in the whole world has a birthday today. She is my twin. She is my person. She is my Raine. She knows me like no one else. My secrets, my dreams, my regrets, my hopes, my heart. She is my bestie and I couldn't imagine life without her. She loves road trips and music. She loves Capones and The Porch. She loves shopping and reading. She loves movies and traveling. She loves water and is a great swimmer. She loves vanilla vodka and good beer and most of all water. She loves her friends and her family. She must have her own car wherever we are. She is the most fashionable person I know. She is a damn good teacher. She takes the most amazing photographs. She makes me laugh like a crazy person and we have pictures to prove it. She is beautiful. She tells incredible stories. And will go to great lengths to get those stories. She loves orchids. She cries at movies and tv shows more than real life. She loves birds. She is allergic to cats. She doesn't like milk or bananas. She is my son's second best friend. She has my dream hair. She is super smart, intelligent, if you will. She loves Jesus. She has a favorite spot on Hayden Lake and will with the proceeds of her first novel buy that spot and build a home. She is my source of good music. She is a DJ Mix Master (which means she makes the best music mixes in the whole world, they actually have brought tears to my eyes when receiving them). She loves dogs. She makes delicious palmiers and chicken salad. She knows just what I need and will make it happen. She is protective over me. She loves my She is crafty. She surprises me with her talents. She texts me when she is sitting across the table which I love. She will request a surprise treat and I almost always excel. She loves concerts. She loves pedicures. She loves Christmas. And Christmas movies. And Christmas lights. And Christmas music...she just loves Christmas. She is thoughtful. She loves the sun. She gives the best gifts. She can hold a grudge. She won't show her teeth when she smiles...she should. She is a fabulous writer. She has dreams while she is awake. She loves the river. She loves coffee and tea. She loves salad. She loves makeup. She loves me and for that I am blessed. She is my most best friend in the whole world. She is my twin. She is my person and I love her. I love you Raine. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Jules, Karmen and Rainey. Happy Birthday to you.

Monday, June 1, 2009


I added a little color. Did you notice? I wanted to keep it dark for the whole Midnight Marauder thing but needed a little something. So here it is. I changed both of my blogs...take a look. I just wanted you to be sure someone hadn't taken over my blog while I was sick. Yes, I'm sick. Not dying sick because clearly I can still play on this time consuming, addicting computer but a little under the weather. Plus, I think when you get the free stuff from (TCBOTB)you are supposed to give them a little bit of credit in addition to the advertising they have conveniently added to the top left hand corner of my blogs. Ha ha.

So if you have the need, the need for speed, I mean the need for change check them out. Sick but still funny. That is impressive folks.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Things I didn't do but did.

I did not start planning my outfits around my new jewelry. That would be silly and sort of difficult. I also did not decide I need a specific white shirt to go with my newest arrival of a beautiful white stone necklace.

I did not for the third week in a row put three of the same things on my to do list. Ugh.

I did not compare myself to 6,999 of the 7,000 women at the Woman of Faith conference this weekend. (I cannot compare myself to Patsy Clairmont. She is an angel on earth and I love her.) I also was not green with envy of the ladies who got to rock the stage.

I did not take my five month old daughter for a haircut and then kick myself when she looked more like her brother and less like a little girl. Dang.

I did not have the most awesome night at work making in only 3 hours what I would have made in 2 1/2 days at the bank. YEAH!!!

I did not kiss my husbands face off for building a fence for our backyard. It is glorious. I love it and the kiddos love it and our dogs love it but that would be gross if the dogs "kissed" his face off. Ewwww.