Wednesday, June 3, 2009
I have been trying for days to wrap my brain around the Women of Faith conference I attended this past weekend. There was so much I witnessed, so much I heard, so much I felt. I can't seem to organize my thoughts and my feelings. Maybe that is God's doing. Maybe He is trying to teach me something. Maybe in organizing I lose something and He wants me to take it all in. So in no particular order here are my thoughts...
Powerful. It is so powerful to sit with 7,000 God fearing, God loving, God praising women. It is so incredibly powerful to be surrounded by that many ladies that are singing, praying, laughing, crying and some even dancing. Powerful. The message is powerful. The worship is powerful. The ladies, oh yes the ladies, they are powerful. You can feel the Holy Spirit there. And you can feel Him smiling.
Speaking of the powerful ladies. I want to sit on the porch. I want to be one of them. I love them all. I love Patsy Clairmont. I want to take her home in my pocket and she would almost fit. I love when she tells a story with her whole body. I love Luci Swindol. I love that before she speaks, she sings in that low voice of hers. I especially love that she shares that same stage with the voices of Sandi Patty, Sheila Walsh and Mandisa and she doesn't care...she sings anyway. I love Marilyn Meberg. I love when she laughs at her own jokes. I love Sheila Walsh. I love her stories and the incredible way she tells them. I love Mary Graham. I love how sincere she is and quick with the audience. I love listening to Sandi Patty sing her heart out, some of those notes probably shook Heaven. Oh, and she sang my baby to sleep so I love that too. I have a new found love for Mandisa. I love her music, her voice and her heart. Wow! Wow! Wow!
We were standing outside in line to get in for the Friday night service. Me and my daughter, my mom, my sister, and my sister's best friend Kathy, had walked back to the conference after dinner. With that many ladies there was quite an impressive line. There was an older lady who was standing in line a dozen people ahead of us. She was little. She was dressed to the nines. She had dyed red hair and the makeup to match. She came walking from where her friends stood and the whole time was singing. Oh, when the saints go marching in...oh, when the saints go marching in. Oh, how I want to be in that number...when the saints go marching in. I smiled. We all smiled. She kept singing and walked back to where her friends stood. I mentioned that we should have joined her. My mom said that is exactly what she wanted. The lady in front of us said it would make her day. Kathy said I should because she knew I could sing loud enough. I looked up the line for her and she was still singing. I wanted to join her. And for the most foolish reason on God's lovely earth I did not. I did not sing with her. I did not make her day. I did not do what I really, really wanted to do. And it is my only regret from the whole weekend.
Spending two days with these ladies makes me want to be a better person. A better Christian, a better wife and mother, a better friend and daughter, a better sister and aunt. I want to make a difference...a profound difference. I want to be part of something bigger than myself. I want to make those around me proud of who I am. I want to use what God has given me to the fullest extent.
For years now I have been looking for my passion. I was always jealous of people that had one and I wanted one so badly. So, I went looking for one and I have tried many things. I have tried yoga, archery, running, cooking...I have tried many things. But, for some reason I never tried the one thing I have always loved to do. Singing. I love to sing. I have always loved to sing. I have a passion for singing. When I got my tonsils removed last year and could barely talk no less sing I was distraught. That is my passion. It was staring me in the face all these years and I totally ignored it. It makes me smile, I do it every day, I do it alone or with other people. I adore singing. It is my passion and I will pursue it.
I pray for the woman on the porch now. I pray that they have safe journeys and that their families are protected while they are away. I pray that they touch the hearts of ladies everywhere.
I can't wait to go next year and I may just be in the running for two free tickets. Woo Hoo.