Momma needs a new pair of shoes

I had previously mentioned that the last time I got new tennis shoes was six years ago (to lose the baby weight from Aid). That is only like five more years than you are supposed to go in one pair of shoes. And now that I started running I could feel it. I thought perhaps new shoes would make it easier to stick to my running plan and make it to my goal.

Now that we are a one income family (by choice and with no regrets) we have quite the strict budget. We got a $10 gift card in the mail from Kohl's and after looking through their Sunday sale paper I found a few pairs for $35-$50. So with ten dollars off it would be perfect, right.

We took our gift card to Kohl's tonight to look around. I grabbed a few pairs and some socks (as you know I only wear flops) and took a seat to try them on, walk around and pick out my new kicks. Some I didn't like, some didn't fit, some Adam didn't like (he actually said it looked like I had bananas on my feet), some were still $75 which is entirely too much. But, there was this one pair. They felt good and comfortable. They fit just right. They aren't beautiful (which is to say there is no pink on them). But, then we checked the price...

$13.99

They quickly became beautiful.

That's right. They were on clearance for only $13.99 (originally $70) and with $10 off I paid $3.99 for my new, lovely New Balance running shoes. They looked way better to me after that (even with no pink). I think they were sent by the shoe angels. These are my running shoes. These are the shoes that will help me run my 5k. I love my new kicks and they are going to love me.

I love myself a rainy summer day.

A break from the heat. A perfect day for a nap. A baby on the lap and a book in the hand. Jeans and a cardigan. Cooking a delicious warm dinner and homemade bread. Starting a craft that you have been putting off. Procrastinating on the housework. It sound good, right? It sounds lovely.

Ahhhh, cool, rainy summer days.

Not Me Monday

I did not find a rice crispy in my hair fourteen hours after rice crispy treats were eaten at a baseball game. I didn't even eat one. My six year old did. I had slept, ran, and many other things with that in my hair. So grooooosssss.

I put my daughter on the couch next to her brother and went to the kitchen to make her a bottle and him some chocolate milk. I did not then hear a loud thud and run to the living room where I did not find my sweet seven month old doing a headstand on the carpet. She definitely did not have rug burn on her nose. And my husband and my girlfriends did not bring it up any chance they had.

I did not realize that the last time I purchased tennis shoes was 6 years ago. Ohmygosh! So, I will be purchasing new running shoes before my next run tomorrow. I'm not really a shoe girl, obviously. Its flops in the summer and uggs in the winter. My husband has more shoes than I do.

My sister had a garage sale at her house last week. So, to round up a few things...I did not clean out my kitchen and find dozens of things I don't use, a few I didn't know I had and a few that I didn't know what they were. I took them all to the garage sale and made some room in my cupboards and my kitchen looks less cluttered and brighter. Yeah! I made $53 at one and $35 at the other. Not bad, right?

I did not run away yesterday when my fight or flight response hit me like a ton of bricks. I did not come home to a son who had been crying and didn't think I was coming home. I wish I could have told him that I would never do that again but I know myself better. So, I told him that I would always come home and he didn't need to be sad or scared. I will work on it...but I'm a runner.

Gimme an M. Gimme an O. Gimme an M

Went for my third run tonight. It was the last one of week one. You go every other day, three times a week for 30 minutes. On Saturday I start week two. I left the hubby's ball game early when I saw a little bit of lightning headed our way. Wanted to beat it and the dark.

I took the baby girl with me on my run. It is a little more difficult to run while pushing her stroller. I got rid of my jog stroller that I had when I got divorced. Looks like I need to get another one. Good thing I'm going garage sale-ing tomorrow. She was asleep for the first part and when she woke up smiling it gave me a little more energy. Just like a little kick to my step. She just started clapping on Sunday. Every few moments she would smile and clap her little chubby hands. It was like having my own little cheerleader. She was saying "Go, mom. You can do it." I LOVED it. And I don't think it was coincidence that it was my easiest run yet.

10 Things Thursday

10 Things I'm going to do with my besty while she is in town


1. Go to the outdoor movie showing of Hairspray

2. Share a few cocktails on the back porch along with some giggles

3. Get together with our third partner in crime as much as possible...KT

4. Play some Scrabble, Cribbage, Hearts

5. Make her take pictures of my kiddos

6. Have deep conversations about the future, religion and boys

7. Have silly conversations about celebrities, fashion and boys

8. Make some chocolate chip cookies

9. Watch her swim with my bubba

10. Make some memories to last until the next time I see her

Random Ramblings

My mom is the bestest. She came over this morning to see my bubba before he went to his dads for a few days. Those two are best friends. Then she stayed so I could go for my run sans baby and baby stroller. Much easier. Thanks, Mom.

It's been entirely too long since I have had a karaoke party. I think I will turn my back deck into a stage for a night and get out the microphones. We can entertain the neighbors in the process. There are already lights hung. Now all we need is a rug, some instruments and some friends. Rock on!

It is one week until my sweet husband's birthday. He turns 25. I am officially a cougar. Ha. Just kidding he is a little bit older than that. Well, I am trying to plan a party for him. Last year we had a bbq. He doesn't like the big fuss over him. I like it. He deserves it. These are my choices, taco bar at home, homemade ice cream in the backyard, float the river, make shift baseball game with pitching machine included. I can't decide.

I got my new IKEA catalog yesterday. Yes! I love myself a little trip to IKEA. It's probably a good thing that there aren't any too close to us or I would be broke. But, dang our house would be perfectly put together.

I'm reading Come Back by mom and daughter Fontaine. It is about their journey when the daughter gets involved in drugs, goes to rehab, and more drugs. The daughter is dating the son of one of my old coworkers. She lent me the book when I went on maternity leave seven months ago. Thought I should read it and get it back to her. It is sad, frightening and triumphant in the end.

We are going to California for our family vacation in fifteen days. I have decided to only pack a few outfits for all of us and do some laundry while we are there. This is the complete opposite of normal me. I usually have an outfit for everything we plan to do. And one for both my kids. I love that part. But, now that I have to pack diapers, baby food, toys, car seats, strollers...well, it's three outfits a piece and laundry half way through.

I say banana, he says yuck

My sweet husband will not eat bananas. Not at all. I love bananas. I love them on ice cream, in banana bread, with peanut butter, bananas foster. Yum. Aidan dared him once to eat one, I thought he was going to be sick. Today I got in my car and there was a plastic cup from the wedding we went to this weekend with two banana runts in the bottom of it. He hates them that much, he won't even eat banana candy. I laughed. Dang, I love that man.

Not Me Monday

We went to a wedding this weekend. We are friends of the bride's parents and it meant a lot to us that they would include us in this special day. It was a beautiful day with an absolutely beautiful bride. However, I did not read the invitation wrong and show up an hour early. It would be silly so itdid not start a little tiny fight with my sweet husband. I would also like you to know that I most certainly did not cry during the ceremony like it was my own. Such a cry baby.

I did not finish my last Twilight book on Sunday morning at 4am because I couldn't sleep and then get a little sad because it was over. No more Bella, no more Edward, no more Jacob. Sad, so sad.

I did not celebrate my two year anniversary and realize I am falling more and more in love with my adoring husband. I am not the luckiest & most spoiled wife in the whole world.

I did not let my baby girl coo and babble all through church service just because I think it is the sweetest, most precious noise I've ever heard. I didn't worry about the people around us until I heard them laugh at her noises too. Apparently we ALL thought it was a sweet sweet noise.

I did not make a deal with my husband about the number of kids we will have. It has nothing to do with a snow blower and two more bebes. (number three will then be under discussion) Look out Sears...here I come.

I did not feel the least bit relieved when my husband decided that he did not want to go to his ten year reunion. I went to my ten year reunion, fours years ago I might add, and it was not a night I would like to repeat. This has nothing to do with the planning committee which I know and love. It is just that the people I spent the night with on the boat were the people that spent every other free night in my backyard so...

Just Do It

I spent the other day in my backyard with my besty. And of course, being girls, our bodies came up in conversation. And of course, being girls, how lucky to be healthy or that we have great hair or beautiful eyes was not the topic. It was of course the size of our asses. We wondered when they got so big, we remembered when they weren't and wished they looked that way again. This is a conversation that we have had many times. And because she loves me she did point out that I just had a baby. I love her. But that baby of mine is almost seven months old. So...thanks for that but I can't use that anymore. I really have no excuse. Other than I really like ice cream. So I told her...you know I guess you get to a point where you either do something about it or shut up. (Please know I use those words very rarely, they were not allowed in my house growing up nor are they allowed at my home now) But you get there. You get where you just really miss your little butt. You get where the clothes that you want to wear don't fit. So...do something or get over it. Those are your choices. I love having choices. And today I choose to do something about it. I have always wanted to be a runner. So today instead of just talking about it (again) I'm going for a run.

I found a plan to make me a runner...Couch to 5k. The plan is to have you running a 5k in 9 weeks. Amazing! I can't wait. I'm excited. It looks totally doable. It looks like a gradual plan that will be some work but it will be fun. For instance the first week you run 60 seconds and then walk for 90 seconds for a total of 20 minutes. Easy enough, right? And nine weeks is not that long. In October I will be a runner. I like the sound of that.

Oh and when I was looking at the running plan I found this incredible music mix for my ipod. It is a Christian play list that is set for this plan. It tells you when to walk and when to run. It changes every week and there is a different mix for each week. I think it is a perfect opportunity to get some God in and some running in at the same time. Plus, I think I may need His help to make this happen. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Proverbs 31:25 I know, I know, this verse has absolutely nothing to do with a silly girl becoming a runner but I found it tonight and fell in love with it.

It was super hot today but it seems to be almost cool enough now to go for my first run. So I have to go get my sneakers on. Today is the day I chose to do Just Do It.

I'm also going to keep track of my runs on the sidebar of my blog. So if you want you can keep track of me and my progress.

Thank God for God

So, I had that meeting with my attorney today. I really like her. She is smart and good hearted. She is a mom that is very understanding of my dilemma as she is remarried with a six year old son as well. We discussed all of my concerns. She made lots of notes and seemed shocked at some of the information. She asked lots of questions and gave me best and worse case scenarios. She suggested a few different options that would help us win. We seem to have a really strong case already with just the information I gave her. She didn't seem worried at all.

The last question I asked was for a cost estimation. I just wanted to be aware so we could plan accordingly and make arrangements. She explained to me her retainer amount and how far that would get us. She explained the fees of any expert witnesses we may need. She then summed it up by saying TEN MILLION DOLLARS. (ok, it wasn't that much but it might as well have been as they are both completely out of reach) Inside I was dying. However, my pride stopped me from reacting too much and I just nodded. I really wasn't expecting that. When I left I called Adam. He asked how it went and all I could get out was "Where are you? I really need you to hold me."

My son is worth all the money in the world. Don't get me wrong. I would give my life for that kid. He means the world to me. I just don't know how we are going to come up with that kind of money. And I'm mad. Ooooh, I'm mad. I'm mad that I have to pay because his dad can't be a good parent. I'm mad that I have to pay to get what is best for Aidan. I'm mad that I can't buy a new truck for my adoring husband who loves this family more than anything because I have to pay an attorney to explain to a judge that six year old children need structure, bed times and to go to school. And a woman scorned is one thing, but a Flanagan scorned, that is another all together.

I am disheartened. I feel defeated. I have cried about it all day. So now, I will pray. I will pray and God will show me what to do and how to do it. See, He loves Aidan more than I do. He wants what is best for him too. He will provide the answer and the solution. I am so glad I have Him in my life. I am so glad Aidan has Him. Thank God for God.